I am I'm Me

I AM: I'M ME – Dee Snider “Twisted Sister”

WHO ARE YOU TO LOOK DOWN
AT WHAT I BELIEVE?
I'M ON TO YOUR THINKING
AND HOW YOU DECEIVE
WELL, YOU CAN'T ABUSE ME
I WON'T STAND NO MORE
YES, I KNOW THE REASONS
YES, I KNOW THE SCORE

I AM, AND I'LL BE
I WILL, YOU'LL SEE
I AM, AND I'LL BE
I AM: I'M ME

HOW I TRIED TO PLEASE YOU
LIVE THE WAY YOU SAID
DO THE THINGS THAT YOU DO
LIKE THE LIVING DEAD
THEN THE TRUTH IT HIT ME
GOT ME OFF MY KNEES
IT'S MY LIFE I'M LIVING
I'LL LIVE AS I PLEASE

I AM, AND I'LL BE
I WILL, YOU'LL SEE
I AM, AND I'LL BE
I AM: I'M ME

NOW'S THE TIME TO STAND TALL
START YOUR LIFE ANEW
FREEDOM LIES IN YOUR HEART
NOW'S THE TIME FOR YOU

I AM, AND I'LL BE
I WILL, YOU'LL SEE
I AM, AND I'LL BE
I AM: I'M ME
I AM, I'M ME I AM, I'M ME

CAN'T YOU SEE?, CAN'T YOU SEE?
I'M ME, I'M ME, ME, ME, ME, MEI AM: I'M MEI AM: I'M ME

CAN'T YOU SEE?, CAN'T YOU SEE?
I'M ME, I'M ME, I'M MEI AM: I'M MEI AM: I'M ME

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M ME
I'M ME, I'M ME, LOOK AT ME
I AM: I'M ME
I AM: I'M ME

NOTES: It seems that the more I try to get in touch with the White Wolf inside me and balance myself, and then someone has to come along and kick the Black wolf in me. I do my best to balance Yin and Yang in my life and it is a struggle to maintain this balance. Due to many years of feeding my Black Wolf he is strong and extremely aggressive but as I move on in years I find this to be self defeating. I understand that there has to be a balance and the two Wolfs inside me are in a constant battle. I choose to feed the White Wolf only because he truly is the wiser of the two. I just cant seem to figure out why when the White Wolf is out in yard enjoying the sun and keeping watch over my life does someone come along and yang on the chain of the Black Wolf?! First he starts to growl, then he barks and they keep on yanking on the chain until he is damn near out of control.

“Why is Anger so hungry and Love so blind?” (That’s from a Steve Vai song). I suppose this may be due to the old adage that “Misery Loves Company”. When you find peace in you life you become out of context with the raging river of life. You find yourself on the shore wondering why someone would dare to swim in the river so out of control. But there I stand on the shore of life laughing at those riding the rapids of chaos and desperation, seeking adventure in external stimulus because they cannot find peace within. They see me on the shore and they go “Hey Dumbass!” “What are you doing up there on the shore? Are you scared to come in the river?” Nope, I just don’t what to be there. I will enjoy the sun and warmth of the day and be at peace with myself. But as I sit and enjoy the serenity of life on the shore, someone’s has to clamber on up the bank and try to pull me in. Well, I suppose I should feel compassion for those trying to yank me in but, as another saying goes, “Pull the tail of the tiger long enough and you will eventually get bitten”.

We all have choices in life, we can serve the greater good of mankind or we can serve ourselves although, self service is not the way of the Warrior.

Here is another quote from an old southern friend of mine I met while I was in the Military, “It’s not what you want that gets you pregnant, it’s what you get!” … this saying always makes me smile because it really is some deep meaning philosophy.

We want to be so many things in life that we sometimes forget that all we need to be is ourselves. The more we want the more we struggle and the more we struggle, the harder we try and before you know it you become something more or less than you wanted to begin with. I have played this game myself over the years until I came to the realization that “I am what I am and that’s all that I am”. I created an alter ego, one that made me feel “cool”, one that made me feel tough and I tried to become someone that others perceived as cool or someone they want to emulate but, I find the more I tried to roll play this character the more I actually began to believe I was that persona and not who I really was. At times of peace when I am alone with nature, reality sets in and I begin to hear the true voice of my inner self and it is not my alter ego. I find at times of peace I become lost and wonder how I got to that point to begin with. I roll played my persona so much that it actually consumed me and I became what I was not. I found that I had lost touch with those around me and those close to me. I created false friends who believed me to be something I was not. My world had been altered along with my perception of reality. I was a fake, I was a lie that I had sold to myself. In this deep realization my true self called to me and it felt like hearing the voice of an old friend and I welcomed him. I remembered who I truly was and what reality was, I was once again in the here and now, in the present, fully aware of myself and my surroundings and it felt good. I realized that I am my own character and I don’t need to pretend to be something or someone so that others will like me and look up to me. When we strive to be something someone else creates we are only fooling ourselves. It is good to break the chains of our conscious minds and submit to the reality of our true selves. Live “your” life not the life that someone else has created in a make believe world. There is nothing worse than to have someone see past the mask we wear and see a completely different person. It is like getting caught in a lie. Eventually people will see behind our masks and we can only hope that what they see is the same real person they saw to begin with. No lies, no actors, no stunt men or green screen, just our true self. When we see our self to we see we see something someone else created or do we see ourselves?

“Know thyself”. And “To thine own self be true”

GhostDog